Driveway Etiquette
People respect property lines in the countryside. When we moved in, the previous residents had “Private Property: No Trespassing” and “Beware of Dog” signs posted at the driveway entrance. Having come from a place where the property lines were a bit blurry, and not with our blessings, I thought, cool, leave the signs. It seemed like staking a claim. I did not consider how unfriendly it might be.
A few months after moving in, a car with two older women in it was sitting on the road, in front of the house. There is not a lot of traffic on our road. After going out to meet them, we found out that one of the women was an original owner of our home, whose husband built it. She said she was not comfortable pulling into the driveway in view of the signs. We invited them in and gave them a tour. The former owner reminisced and answered some questions about the property, settling what was related to us as guesses by the realtor and most recent owners.
We took the signs down. Once the driveway was more welcoming, people could pull in. They would do so, but stay at the edge. The signs were gone, there was no crazed dog barking threateningly. From new friends that have had us over for cookouts, to friendly, waving neighbors who did not know us that well, both types have parked at the edge of the driveway and beeped.
At first, I was immediately taken back in time to a young lady’s date needing to knock on the door rather than beep from the car. It took a bit to realize the respect that was being offered, a bit old fashioned, but appreciated.
One time a neighbor was dropping off a package that he’d retrieved for us when we were away. I was home alone. I knew that he’d be by on his way home from work and was expecting him. I heard the horn instead of an expected knock. I went out and graciously thanked him, but was confused. It was later explained that without my boyfriend at home, it made sense to not have this man right at our door, but at a distance; he’d offered me a view of who was over and a choice to remain in my home or venture out. I then saw it as old fashioned chivalry and appreciated the gesture.
For the friend that knew us a bit better, he also parked at the end of the driveway and beeped. We were both home and both went out to chat. While less for our safety, it did provide privacy and again, a choice from a distance. Another time with the same friend, we really appreciated the beep as we were way back on the property and would have missed his visit.
This custom did not happen with our rental property in the city, before we relocated outside of town.
Driveway Invites
Another unique experience is the driveway invitation. We’ve exchanged numbers with our neighbors and I’ve seen them answer their cellphones, so I know they have phones. Over the summer, however, they’d pull up in our driveway, beep and invite us over for a barbecue. Sometimes they gave us a day’s notice, at other times, a few hours. I liked the personal touch.
One time, while one of these barbecues was underway, we were asked by a fellow attendee, who knew that they shouldn’t drive, for us to drive over to a mutual friend’s house to invite them. My initial thought was, “Why don’t we just call?” I remembered their custom and off we went to the edge of someone else’s property on our neighborly errand. They were happy to see us, and met us back at the gathering.
waving to other drivers
When I was a kid, on the occasions that my father took me for a ride on his motorcycle, I couldn’t believe how many people knew him. Everywhere we went on his Moto Guzzi, people waved. I was young and didn’t realize that when we were in a car, this only happened with people in our neighborhood. I finally learned that motorcyclists do this, it’s a culture, at least I hope it still is. So Dad was not as popular as I thought, but I liked this tradition.
In South Florida, we only waved to other drivers if we knew them. In such a highly populated area, that was rare unless you were on your own street and close to your house. Out here, while there are fewer people per capita, we don’t know most of them as we are still new after only being here for a year. But we wave. It took me a bit to catch on, but from tractors to cars to horse drawn buggies (we are fortunate enough to have Mennonites close by), friendly greetings from other drivers are a welcome custom. And it’s not only the drivers, some passengers wave too.
The Members Only Fire Department
I was used to paying property taxes each year in my city in Florida and having service available from the local police, schools and fire department. This is probably how it works in most residences in cities. When we first moved to Missouri, we rented a place while shopping for a home and even met the local fire chief in the process.
Rentals require a passing inspection from the fire department in order to get the water utility in your name, presuming that most people want running water. So one of the first people we met, after the landlord, was the fire chief.
He was a good face for the town. It was around election time and he explained that people of the vying parties easily tolerated one another; there’s much more respect or acceptance here of opposing views of all kinds.
We toured homes online and in person (such an entertaining process at times) and found our place. Right before our closing, we were shocked to see our soon to be next-door neighbor’s place burn down. We holed up for our first winter and got to know them come spring, as they settled into their replacement home on the same property. They were welcoming and we easily became fast friends. At one of their cookouts, someone said there was a hefty fee if the fire department needed to serve you, but you had not officially signed up prior to calling them.
It wasn’t until nearly a year later that my boyfriend found out that we don’t get fire department service outside of town unless we paid the fire department directly, ahead of time. Sure enough, fire department service was not in the fine print on the tax bill. This should be something emphasized when you buy a place outside of town.
We took care of it as soon as we learned of the annual fee. I inquired what would have happened if I called in an emergency before that payment and shuddered to learn that they wouldn’t have come.
There are differences from town to town regarding this policy, but that was an important question that I did not know to ask.
All in all, I’m happy with my decision to come to the country. I hope to make more friends than faux pas as I continue to learn new ways.
Happy New Year, dear E! I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog and have been meaning to comment. Today, Monday, January 3, I am finally taking the leap. I’ve always appreciated your writing as well as your photographic eye, and this new enterprise is a lovely combination of the two. “more friends than faux pas”. Love it! Also, if I had a fireplace (moot, since I live in South Florida), that screen would be IT… <3
Your kind words are appreciated. The fireplace is striking; it gives off quite a bit of heat and the screen is over six feet high.